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Bill Maher Dances All Over Trump’s White House Grave

On Friday night, Bill Maher stood on the Real Time stage and, with a shit-eating grin plastered across his face, teed off on President Donald Trump, who appears to have lost the 2020 election to Joe Biden.

“Biden won the election!” Maher exclaimed, before a collection of red, white and blue balloons fell on him from above. “The networks are still too chickenshit to call it, but plainly, he’s won this election.”

Then, the comic addressed Trump’s deluge of dangerous, fact-free protestations over the results, with the president baselessly alleging that mail-in ballots for some reason shouldn’t be counted in the final tally—even though a good number of these ballots come from military service members, the elderly, or the infirm.

“Until all the ballots are counted, President Trump is telling everyone to stay calm, and classy, and respect the process. Of course he’s not! He’s throwing a tantrum like the two-ton whiny little bitch he is,” cracked Maher. “He doesn’t like that for the first time he’s on the other end of an eviction notice.”

Then, Maher took a little victory lap—as is his wont—since the satirist has been the most vocal proponent of the theory that Trump will not leave the White House even if he loses. According to a report in Vanity Fair, “Trump has signaled to allies that the Secret Service will have to drag him from the White House kicking and screaming.” (Granted, this is likely just classic Trump posturing.)

“Of course he’s saying it’s a ‘fraud,’ and a ‘hoax,’ and he’s ‘suing.’ He’s been telling us he’s gonna do that for a year—I’ve been telling you for three!” boasted Maher. “And yet, the media is perpetually shocked by this. They’re like the announcer at the wrestling match: ‘Oh my god, he’s gonna hit him with the folding chair!’”

The HBO host argued that there is no way Trump will go quietly, comparing the end of his Oval Office reign to “the end of Scarface.”

“Concede? I’ll be surprised if he comes out the bathroom,” cracked Maher.

As a final F-you to his Twitter nemesis, Maher nodded to the time Trump sued him for $5 million over a joke about his mother having sex with an orangutan:

“But look, let’s be gracious in victory. I just want to say Mr. Trump, if you’re watching, as you do sometimes accidentally, you may have lost the election but there’s one thing that you will always have, and that’s the knowledge that your father never loved you and your mother had sex with an ape.”

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